I am beyond frustrated with school. I failed yet another test, at least I think I did. The test might as well have been in another language because I didn't recognize any of the material from the study guide, and I had that thing memorized! Perhaps I am failing to really comprehend the material at a level at which is necessary. Maybe I am just a monkey who can sit there and memorize and repeat and it's just not good enough. This has all been really discouraging for me lately, and extremely stressful. Failing this class means the end of nursing school for me. If I don't pass, not only will I have to re-take it to continue, but I will owe the VA the cost of the class and also have to pay out of pocket to take it again. Honestly, I can't afford that either monetarily or time wise. I have about a year and four months left in school, and I am counting (gambling) on the fact that the Marine Corps won't move us in that time... add 4 more months onto that... yeah, I am not sure how well that will work.
So, before this exam I had an 85% in the class. I did the math, and if I get 0 points I will still have a 79%, which is passing. 75% is passing in nursing school. So, that puts me in dangerous waters for the final, which is not cumulative. Talk about stress on top of stress.
I just want this semester to be over with, and my 75.00% in this class... and I will be on my way and never look back. I've wanted to be a nurse for so long, and I never thought I was smart enough which is why I waited until nearly thirty years old to decide to go for it, and now this. It just makes me feel like my fears of not being smart enough are starting to come true.
Ok, now off I go to sulk and study because really, I don't want to fail. I NEED to be a nurse. Not want, but NEED!
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