A Moment of Silence

Today, let's appreciate those who served, those who are serving, and those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Along with the families who serve along side them on the homefront. God bless you all and Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

Sunday Funday at the Dog Park

There is a new park near my house, the Wire Mountain II Dog Park. It's less than a five minute walk to take the dogs there, and it's nice and hilly and grassy. Around 11 this morning we headed out for a short walk to the park. I laid down on one of the grassy hills while the two dogs roamed free. It was just us, so it was like our own private park. It's beautiful outside today!

Bubba, just being lazy

Major taking a breather after running a few laps.

The two of them are up to no good.

As a patient in the ER

For the past month or so, I have had a sore neck. I can't look over my shoulder without turning my torso along with it. It hurts that bad. Last night while I was studying, I also started to feel light headed, nauseas, my upper back was getting numb and I had a headache. I decided that the combination of symptoms could have meant something bad. Something like cat-scratch syndrome, thyroid cancer, or meningitis. You know, I always have to self diagnose.

I was able to get a friend to drive me to the hospital where we waited for two hours before an actual doctor saw me. He decided that I have a sprained neck. My prescriptions that he gave me are Flexeril, Vicodin, and 800mg Motrin.

So, lets talk about how that is not going to happen. I am supposed to take the flexiril three times a day. That is not going to happen because first and foremost I need to drive myself places, and secondly I need to function in a somewhat coherent manner when I arrive to those said places. I took some last night, the pharmacist told me I shouldn't take it unless I can get at least eight hours of sleep, so I took some last night and I got MORE than eight hours. I can swear that at this moment, I still feel high off the drugs. Next I am to take the Vicodin PRN, that I can deal with except that it upsets my stomach. So, basically I am left with the 800mg Motrin. Except I have been taking 800mg of Advil, which has the same thing in it. It's just Ibuprofin. Basically, what I am saying is that I didn't have to go to the ER.

The RN that was helping me was a really sweet girl. Super young. Tried to tell me there was aspirin in Motrin. I was like uhh, no. no, there is not. She even had me convinced at one point, I even told her that aspirin makes me dizzy and sometimes I even pass out from it, and that since I am alone then I can't have it. I don't know what I was thinking. I know better than that. Motrin doesn't have aspirin in it. I think I was tired. Maybe she was tired too, but really... she's the professional. She isn't allowed to be tired. We finally figured out she had it confused with Excedrin.

I think she was a new nurse, which gives me hope. Perhaps when I finish school I can be an ER nurse at the Naval Hospital too. It always seems pretty quiet there.

Memorial Day

I hope that everyone takes this holiday and at least spends some time to remember the sacrifices of others, and to enjoy what they have. This weekend should be a celebration of life, of the life that we all have and of good things. It's a positive time, a thankful time. Take time to focus on the things that you do have, and not to dwell on the things that you don't.

If you have a family that loves you, a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back then I would say you have a great life. Be appreciative this weekend. Be humble and think of others who are not as fortunate as you are.

I will be thinking of the sacrifices that my husband and his Marines in CLB5 Eng. Co. are making this weekend. I will be thinking how all of them are spending this holiday away from their families. I will be celebrating their courage to go and do what many others do not want to, and for being such great men willing to make the sacrifice.

I will also keep in my prayers this weekend the family of Sgt. Michael Martins, especially his wife and widow, who is a friend of mine. I will always remember his sacrifices that he made for not only the country, but for his beautiful wife as well.

So, please put life into perspective and go out and enjoy this nice weather with your family, be happy, don't worry, don't stress and remember that life is grand and there's nothing that should be taken for granted. Life itself is a gift. Be thankful!

Enjoy!

Dear John

I really thought this was going to be a difficult movie to watch. I thought maybe I wouldn't even make it 15 minutes in without crying. I didn't cry at all. It was really cute. It was a celebration of unconditional love. Sometimes, during the film certain things would remind me of Ben and I, and it was really sweet. I am not sure I like how it ended. It leaves a lot to the imagination.

Stateside still remains my favorite military love story. Besides, it's about a schizo girl and a Marine, what's better than that? That's totally more realistic. ♥

Wordless Wednesday

Ben during the initial invasion (ca. 2001 -2002)

Military Moms

Quite possibly a Military Wife's worst nightmare? Now, I am not talking about your mother in law. I am talking about the Mom of the Marine who is going through her first deployment, horribly confused, unaware of proper military etiquette, getting her information from a non-command sponsored website. THAT woman, is dangerous.

Today, I was scolded by a Marine Mom for responding to a girl on the command facebook fan page who said she and her husband were disconnected and was wondering if anyone knew anything. Just as a guess, I said that maybe there was sand storms or other weather issues that were causing it. According to the Marine Mom, she was instructed on marineparents.com that mentioning sand storms was an opsec violation. Now, I don't get my opsec information off any old non military sponsored website like marineparents.com (who by the way is notorious for misinformation), but I get my opsec information straight from the command. Never once has anyone told me that mentioning a sand storm was a violation of opsec.

So, in response to her I mentioned that I did not violate any opsec. This provoked her lashing out at me. Now, I understand that deployments are stressful, I do. Me of all people, really I get that. But, lashing out at me on a public command sponsored fan page on facebook, that is just uncalled for. I didn't get to see any of this first hand, in fact was completely unaware of it until someone messaged me asking what was going on. Of course, I had no idea because I hadn't seen it.

At first I was a little embarassed since I volunteer with the command and the FRO knows me, the COs wife knows me, the Company Commander's wife knows me. I was thinking, "oh no, do I look stupid?" Well, good thing I know my husband's Facebook password. I was able to log in to see what she said and I am totally relaxed. It appears that this woman is lashing out at me and my non-response to it makes her look like an unprovoked bully. *sigh* Joke is on her.

As for me, I will continue on about with my day feeling confident that I did not violate anything opsec. If anything my major offense was offending "Major Ma'am" as she requested that I call her.

LOL.

be careful out there, deployments make people crazy. I thought Military Wives were bad, but, I think the real concern is Military Moms. RUN people, RUN FOR YOU LIVES!

Week 5, Day 1

uhhhhh.... it hurt. My arches were KILLING me. I think I need to go get some good ones to put into my shoes. I had some good ones, but the dog ate them. I struggled though today, mostly because of the pain in my feet, but I did it. I finished. Afterward I did 20 minutes on the elliptical. I have decided that I need to exercise more in an attempt to further control my stress level. For some reason, my body doesn't handle stress very well... if I run it out then all is well. If not, oy... bad for me.

Just another manic...Tuesday?

Tuesday is my Monday. My new schedule has me off on Mondays now. I can't say that getting rid of Monday solved anything. I just have my case of the Mondays on Tuesday, a day late.

Usually I don't have class until 11:40, but since I am required to put in hours outside of class in the Nursing lab, I am meeting a friend there at 10 so we can practice our skills.

I got an email from the husband! It's nice to be hearing from him again, but at the same time he has been expressing that he isn't having the greatest time over there, and that things are just tough on him so it makes me sad. I don't like to hear that my honey is going through hard times. No one likes to see their loved ones unhappy. On the plus side, today marks two months down! That is two months closer to having him home. I can't wait. Even if him coming home means us leaving Camp Pendleton. I really don't care, I just want him here!

I started a craft project last night. I am going to be making him a little jar filled with 101 ways that I miss him. I am about half way through. I couldn't think of all 101 things in one sitting, but I got a good part of the way through. I have things on there like "finding socks in the couch", "having someone bring me toilet paper when there is no more left on the roll", and "seeing your crooked smile". I miss him tons, and all the little things about him.

If you are religious, please pray that things ease up on him. If you are not, just send him some good vibes. I just want him to get through this as quickly and painlessly as possibly at this point so we can get back to our normal everyday lives.

What to do with myself.

I need to work out, some kind of physical activity. So, do I do my Turbo Jam DVD, Week4, Day3, the elliptical or do I just keep sitting here eating cookies? I don't know what to do. I am pretty sure though that I have a stomach ache from all the sugar I have consumed today.

So, my mother gave my some sound advice. I don't usually like talking about my Mom on my blog, and not because I don't love her to death. We get along fantastically actually, but mostly because I think my Mom doesn't like being on the interwebs. So, she told me that maybe I am having so much anxiety because I am too concerned about pretending to be ok all the time. hmmm... perhaps she has a point.

Pretending to be ok. I do it all the time. I did it for 13 months while my husband was in Iraq in 2008-2009. I did it while he was on embassy duty, I am (was) doing it now. I think I finally just exploded. You know, there's only so much pretending that a person can do before they explode into a mess of mush all over the floor. Thank GOD that I have good friends who are skilled enough to pick up emotional deployment messes. Today, I think is the best day I have had emotionally all week. That is saying a lot. Aside from the fact that I ate ice cream and cookies for breakfast... today is a good day.

I'm going to go do something active. Something good for myself, and I am going to relax and do nothing school related and I am not going to think about the deployment. Sunday is my day for ME, and it will be ALL ABOUT ME, even if it kills me.

Week 4, Day 3

FAIL!

I didn't run today. I am just exhausted. Between all the emotional stuff that has been going on, I have still been going about 110% with my school effort, and fitting in the sleep whenever the anxiety isn't getting the best of me. I'm just TIRED! Working out would help, I am sure BUT I think I will have to just re-do week 4. I will take it as a necessary break. With everything that has been going on with me lately, I think that repeating week 4 would not be the end of the world.

Most likely I will do some kind of aerobic workout tomorrow at home from a DVD or use my elliptical for an hour in the morning. So, starting Monday will be week 4- take 2. :) Hopefully all will go well.

Today

Today at school was rough. I felt like I wasn't completely there. To be honest, I was not mentally there. It took all of me to avoid crying or freaking out in class. More effort than I would have expected. I'm upset, and entitled to being upset, and I won't apologize for my feelings or my actions because right now, this is how I am coping with the situation.

I feel forgotten, I feel alone. I feel like because other wives in his company, not just his battalion, but his company are getting phone calls and emails that he is not calling me because he doesn't want to, because he's too lazy to wait in line for a phone, or too lazy to reply to one of my daily emails I have been sending. These are not irrational thoughts, it has happened before, he has been too lazy to wait in line or to send me an email in the past. (One of my husband's few dirtbag tendencies.) So, this isn't about how long I haven't talked to him, or how much I miss him. It's about me feeling like he just doesn't want to talk to me. No, he's not hurt, he's not missing. If he was, they'd let me know. He's out there, somewhere, doing something and just not calling. On missions, they have a sat phone, he's called me from it before while he was out on a mission... so, that's not an excuse either. There's comm available to him. He's not using it and that hurts me.

I decided to stay in tonight. I was invited to a dinner party for the SCNO wives in the Battalion, but I just couldn't go. I cancelled my RSVP. I can't go and hear about how someone talked to their husband this morning, or last night, or even last week. I can't see people and pretend to be ok when I clearly am not. I can't do it. I can't deal with any of this, not today. Today is not one of my strong emotional days. I feel that as time goes on, I am slowly breaking down. I've lost control, and I just really hate this feeling.

I'm going to stay in, curl up with one of my Nursing books and study. I think that is the best thing for me to do this evening. I need to focus my energy into something that has nothing to do with this deployment, my husband or the Marine Corps.

I have a lot going on right now. I know I have some loyal followers, so this is just my note to let everyone know that I am going to be taking a mental health break for a few days.

I'm sure I will have a bunch to say once I return.

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

No News is Good News

Then, why do I feel so uneasy right now?

An "all clear" call would make me feel A LOT better right about now.

I'll Wait For You

The snow in Montana was three feet high
The lady at the counter said: There ain't no flights
And so he called her on the telephone
He said: I'll rent a car and I'll drive home

And she said: I'll wait for you
Like I did last year
At Christmas time with your family here
And your truck broke down out in San Antone
And the gifts stayed wrapped until you got home
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

Now he's on his cell phone in a Coupe Deville
Talkin' to the one he loves and always will
His heart is breakin' 'cause she's there alone
Her heart is achin' 'cause she wants him home
She says: I'll wait for you like in '68
When our child was due, but I said, he'll have to wait
Until his dad gets here and stands by my side
Remember, Dear, our son's first cry
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

He didn't stop all day to eat a bite
And he finally got there around midnight
The doctor said, she's in a better place
She said to give this you this note just in case

And it said, I'll wait for you at Heaven's gate
Oh, I don't care how long it takes
And I'll tell Saint Pete I can't come in
Without my love and my best friend
Oh, this ain't nothin' new
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you
P.S. I love you, too
Sweetheart, I'll wait for you

It's Get to Know You Sunday!

I came across Mannland5, and today it is Get to know you Sunday. I thought it would be something fun to do. You add your name to a list of bloggers, answer some questions on your blog and link back to the site. So, here it goes:

The questions..

1. The most expensive thing hanging in my closet is.....?

Probably one of my purses. I have a bag fetish and own quite a few from Gucci, Burberry, and Fendi. Coach just doesn't cut it for me. I know, that sounds horribly stuck up, but I can't help what I like.

2. Have you ever played a team sport?

I played basketball in Junior High. I swam in High School, but that's more of an individual sport.

3. If you were a bug, what kind would you be?

I wouldn't. I hate bugs.

4. Where on your body is the worst place to get sunburned?

On my back because it is the most painful, or on my face because it makes me look awful!

5. Are you happy?

Completely!

6. People are always abbreviating..are there any abbreviations that make your skin crawl when people use them?

I can't stand it when people use short hand on their facebook or on other online forums. It's so hard to figure out what they mean, since shorthand is usually so personalized.

7. Do you love where you live..or could you live anywhere?

I like where I live, it is nice here. I am not sure I'd really want to live anywhere else.

8. What, if any, extreme measures do you go to to keep yourself from overeating when you're full?

When I feel full, I just stop eating. Usually it makes my stomach hurt.

Week 4, Day 1

So, I was feeling a bit restless here today and although I did W3D3 yesterday, I decided that I was going to go do W4D1 today. It was refreshing. I think I am developing a love-hate relationship with running. I hate it because it's not easy, but I love it because it's so liberating. It's like as soon as I start running all the stress and tension that was in my body is released. I love that. Perhaps it's because I have just been beyond stressed out lately and this is the only way my body can relieve it. Gosh, I'd have to think how I'd feel if I wasn't running regularly.

3 chapters down, 1 to go.

It is time for a break. I feel like I have so much to get done in regards to school, and I really don't want to let my blog go. I really enjoy spilling my guts out on a regular basis to the strangers on the interwebs.

So, I am reading about stress and coping mechanisms in relation to how as a Nurse to manage these in both yourself and the "client". As I am reading, I can't help but think about myself and how certain phrases relate directly to my life at the present time or in the past. By default, I have a fairly high stress inducing lifestyle. I am married to a man who has chosen a profession which not only takes him away from home for long periods of time, but also puts him in dangerous situations with little to no contact with me back home.

First my text says that "Stress 'refers to any event in which environmental demands, internal demands, or both tax or exceed the adaptive resources of an individual, social system, or tissue system' ", and them I am reminded how during the last deployment, which was a thirteen month deployment to Iraq, I happened to come down with several illnesses; colds, the flu several times, high blood pressure and ulcers. Now, remember this was all within a thirteen month period. That is a lot of being ill in not a lot of time. Then I come across, "Prolonged emotional distress may increase susceptibility to organic disease or precipitate it." And, then that explains it!

I knew I wasn't crazy. I am a very healthy person, never been sick in my life, never had health problems; then I marry a Marine and it seems like everything that can go wrong has. Then, just as I have myself convinced that there is a direct correlation to my health issues and my stress level, and that I am in fact not crazy for coming to that conclusion before I even imagined being a nursing student, I read that "Prolonged stress can also result in mental illness". PERFECT!

Maybe I am nuts. Although, maybe you have to be a little nuts to fall in love with someone who is never home, and then decide to increase your stress level ten fold by attending nursing school. I guess insanity works for me. At least I will eventually be a well paid nut case, with a husband who loves me. It could be worse...

Tired

Today was orientation day for the Nursing skills lab. It was a long day, lots of going over rules and how to's and yada yada. It was a ton of information to intake. Luckily I did get a long lunch. I was able to eat and go on a power walk before having to go back for the afternoon session. I like this because it adds one extra day of workout for me to my week. PERFECT!!

I must have slept incredibly strange on Monday night because I woke up Tuesday with a sore neck and it hasn't gone away. It's just sticking! I had an issue once where my doctor had to prescribe muscle relaxers so that my muscle would untense in my back, and that was quite a few months ago. I still have most of the bottle and I'm sure that would do the trick, but I can't take them in case I get drug tested and I have to explain why I am taking a muscle relaxer that was prescribed about 5 or 6 months ago. So, I guess I might have to go back again if it doesn't go away. For now, I am going to lay on the couch with a heat pad on my neck, hoping that the tenseness will go away.

It is going to be a long weekend of studying and reading, reviewing and understanding. Sunday is my do nothing school related day and I will most likely play WoW (World of Warcraft), catch up on TV shows, and relax.

Is it Sunday yet?

What an Honor!!

My first blog award! I am so excited! I was awarded this from one my favorite bloggers. I really love her blog, and I had no idea she loved mine as well.

Ines of,The Few, The Proud, The Wife gave me the Sweet Blog Award on May 12, 2010. I'm very excited about it! :D

THANK YOU Ines!

Day 1 of Semester 2

Well, for starters I got more books than I even know what to do with. In fact, not all of them fit into my ginormous new rolly bag that I bought. Good thing I don't need to tote them all to class. I guess today went decently. I lost my carpool, which I am upset about horribly. Instead of driving one day a week, I will now be driving 3 days a week, alone, in traffic. That means probably over an hour commute to get home on the five freeway cluster #&*%. My instructor was more than happy to switch my group so that I could be with my carpool girls, but then the Director of Nursing said that I am "legally" already in my group so it can not be switched. To be honest, I think she was just being inflexible. I have known people to switch groups in the past. For a school with such a huge parking issue, you'd think they'd be more than happy to accommodate students who car pool. I guess not.

So, that was about it for my first day. Lots of reading already assigned. I have to read a couple chapters prior to my lab tomorrow already, plus another 10 or so more that need to be read by next week. I guess I better get to it.

It's 5am and I'm AWAKE!

Today is the beginning of my second semester of Nursing school. I woke up at 4:30 so that I could get ready to meet my carpool out in Oceanside at 6:00, so that we can make it to campus by 7:30 for our Fundamentals of Nursing (Fundies) orientation. It's going to be a long day. Tomorrow I have a full day in the skills lab too, I think from 7:30 to 16:00. YIKES!

Wish me luck!

Week 3, Day 2

I did day 2 of week 3 today. I had planned to walk over to the neighborhood gym to run it on the treadmill but it was such a nice day out I decided to do it outside. About half way through I couldn't help but think if it were appropriate to curse The Ginger for making me do this because today I thought I was going to DIE. Then, I realized that because of her, I have started to loose weight again, and after all she didn't really make me do this running program. So, thanks to the encouragement of The Ginger, I have lost two more pounds which brings my total weight loss up to fourteen pounds in about 2 months time. I am thinking that I will have to finish up with day 3 on Saturday because I have a pretty busy end of the week. I am sitting here in fear of what week four will bring... I hope I will be ready for it.

Three Years Ago Today

Three years and one day ago on May 10, 2007 my husband came home from Marine Security Guard (MSG) Duty. MSG duty is a B billet, which means it's something that you do other than your MOS. This particular B billet requires that all security guards are unmarried when they begin and also stay unmarried until their duty is complete. They even sign a contract promising to abide by those rules. I waited for what felt like an eternity. I was so in love with this man, and I couldn't marry him because of some technicality. We had planned our wedding while he was away to be married on May 19, 2007. We did have our wedding that day, but we were already married.

I picked him up from Lindbergh field in San Diego. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was just so happy to have him home, and to finally have him be free to marry me! In fact, yesterday when I was coming home from Maine, I walked through the same terminal where I picked him up three years ago. It was Dejavu, and I just got a really good feeling coming through there. It was also on exactly the same date and about the same time. Since the court house was closed when he got in, we decided that we'd go first thing in the morning the next day, May 11, 2007.

So, we got up early, I put on a white dress and we headed down to San Diego to say our I Do's. That little ceremony we had in that tiny room, with one witness on May 11, 2007 means more to me than any big wedding that we planned. It was so special, and so loving. I was so happy that he was finally home and finally MINE! Since that day, we have never been together to celebrate our anniversary. On our first anniversary, he was in Iraq. Our second anniversary, he was training somewhere in central California, and now this year on number three he is a world away again in Afghanistan. I miss him, but I feel good today. I know he is thinking about me, and I feel great that we've come to this milestone again in our relationship. It's an accomplishment in a lifestyle where the divorce rate is at about 80%. I know we must be doing something right.

My husband is the most wonderful man I have ever met. He's my best friend. When I am happy, he laughs with me. When I'm sad, he cries with me. We do everything together. When he is gone, I am not complete. He's everything to me. He's more than I could have ever imagined to have in a husband. I feel so blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I wouldn't trade any of this for anything else in this world. He's just perfect for me. I'm a very lucky girl to have found this kind of love so early on in my life. I can't wait to see what the next 30 or 40 years has to bring for us.



"I wanna be the wind that fills your sail, Be the hand that lifts your veil, Be the moon that moves your tides, The sun coming up in your eyes, Be the wheel that never rusts, And be the spark that lights you up, All that you've been dreaming of, And more...so much more, I wanna be your everything" - Keith Urban; Your Everything (Our First Dance; May 19, 2007)

A New Bed for The Major

I am home, I am super tired. Half starved. Thank goodness the milk fairy left some milk in my fridge for me; YUM cereal. My dogs pretty much went nutty when they saw me. Major has destroyed his bed, apparently his separation anxiety got the best of him on the very last day. I am off to go catch up on my TiVO and cuddle with my boys that I've missed oh so very much.

Self Diagnosis

After spending a good deal of the day researching my symptoms I have come to the conclusion that I have somehow gotten sinusitis. It could be from the long flight with all the pressure in the cabin, the circulation of all those gross microbes from people for the entire day or it could be allergen induced. I am inclined to think it might be allergen induced. Here is my thought process; I just went out to do laundry now and I decided to go walk around a little with the fresh air because it was cool and crisp. It just felt good. After a couple minutes I started to feel fine. I felt like maybe I even felt good enough to start Week 3 Day 1 of my C25K running plan. So, I went running. It felt GOOD. I felt GOOD. I could breathe, my face didn't feel swollen, my headache and all the pressure went away. *poof* like magic.

My friend has a cat, a very cute cat. I like the cat. But, I sooo hate the cat. I have never been around cats for long periods of time like this, and I am beginning to think that I am allergic to the little bugger. :( I got some Zyrtec-D the other day at the store and it doesn't seem to be working for the cat, but I guess if I am constantly around the cat, there is only so much the Zyrtec-D can do.

So, now my friend is on her way home and we will most likely go out to get a bite to eat. Something low-key. I have to try and stuff all my things into my carry on. I am thinking about heading to Walmart, (Is there even one here? I haven't seen one.) to get some of those space saver bags. Those might help a ton. Maybe I won't have to mail things back home after all.

Miserable in Maine

Ugh! I am so sick. I can't believe that I came all this way and then came down with something the second day I was here. I would love to be out right now exploring, but I just can't get out of bed!! I was hoping I would even get a chance to go for another run, along all the beautiful trees, and I can't even do that. This is the pits! What is even worse is that I am flying back home tomorrow, I just know that is going to be a miserable flight, all the pressure in the cabin. OWWWW!!! I am not looking forward to it.

So, I am laying here in my room, surfing the net. I don't even want to go out in the living room and watch TV. I just feel awful about being sick at my friends house. I don't want to get anyone else sick, so I have quarantined myself. I may need to head over to the kitchen to fix myself something to eat though. I am getting a little hungry. I am thinking maybe some toast and jelly, maybe a little peanut butter.

I talk on the phone in the shower

Yep, I do! I finally heard from my husband today. He's outside the wire, on a mission. Luckily for me he was able to get use of a phone. I actually got to talk to him for the longest I have so far for this deployment. He called just as I was soaping up my hair. Of course he would call then. I heard my phone ring, and my friend says "It's from 808..." I immediately cut her off by yelling, "IT'S BEN!!!!!!" It was VERY exciting. It was really good to hear his voice. I stood in the shower with running water for about fifteen minutes. I stood oh so carefully off to the side as to not let the water hit me. There's definitely an art to talking on the phone in the shower.

Today was a rainy day in Maine. I had hoped that I would get to see more of Maine while I was here, but due in part to the rain and the fact that I woke up this morning with some kind of cold/ allergy thing, it made me super tired. Now I am sick and on vacation. Good times. At least I am still in good company.

Taryn took me out to lunch today, we went to a place called Newick's Lobster Shack. I had a small bowl of clam chowder, and Lobster Newburg for lunch. It was delicious, and filling. I still have most of it in a to go box in the fridge. I am waiting to get hungry again so I can have some more. On the way home, I finally was able to try frozen custard. My husband had told me about this stuff, apparently they sell it at a shop in the town he grew up in, in the midwest. So, when I saw that there was a frozen custard shop here in Yarmouth, I HAD to have some. LOVED IT!

I think I am touring Maine with my stomach, but I just don't see that you can see Maine in any other way. YUM! I think if I lived here, I'd end up being 300lbs.

Week 2, Day 3 in Maine with Lobstah!

Today, I have had the most awesome day. It totally made up for the awful commute I dealt with on the way over here. First, we started out with my favorite, Starbucks. Delicious, as always. Next we went to go see a lighthouse, I forget what it's called but I had never seen one before and it was just beautiful. When I get home and have my cable to upload photos from my camera, I will upload some photos to share. Then, the best part of my day was the Lobster Roll. I had heard about this Lobster Roll for a few days leading up to my trip, and I was sooo excited to be going out to eat Sushi. Apparently, a Lobster Roll is NOT anything even closely related. It's a sandwich!! A Delicious sandwich.


So, since it was so delicious, it was obviously full of fat an calories. Trust me, I don't regret it, but after my food settled, I came back and did week 2, day 3 of the C25K program. WOW! That's all I have to say. What beautiful scenery I had to look at. There are trees here, the air is crisp. I was running along what looked like a forest. I am not used to seeing trees. It was just so pretty that I hardly noticed that I was running. Sunday, I will be starting week 3, day 1; still in Maine. I can't wait.

Edit: I was able to use the same uploading cord as my friend had for her camera, so here are some of the photos from my first day around Portland, ME.

Happy Birthday My Love

Good Morning (6am EST) from Maine! This blog is special, for my husband. I wanted to wish him a very Happy Birthday. Today marks 27 years on this earth for him. He is very much missed, by both myself and our families. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I wish he were here, especially today. He deserves to have the best day ever today!

He and I have never celebrated his birthday together, in the same place. He's never been home. It seems that duty always calls at the most inconvenient times. Some day, he will be home and I will make up all the years of missed birth days with him.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart! I hope you have yourself a wonderful day. I LOVE YOU!

En Route

I am blogging from up in the air. As I type I am flying from Atlanta to Portland, Maine. They have internet on planes now! Who knew?!?! for only $9.95, I can kill time on the internet for my entire two and a half hour flight. I think it's pretty awesome. I didn't buy it on my first flight today because I was watching movies and practicing dimensional analysis instead. This is MUCH better.

Today has been the worst day, EVER. My last flight was miserable. I was sitting in front of a man who couldn't keep still, and I don't just mean during take off, trying to get settled into his seat. I mean, THE ENTIRE THREE HOURS! Kicking my seat, fidgeting with his tray. UGH! I wanted to strangle him. Instead I used the stink eye, but it didn't work.

Once I got to Atlanta I thought my day would turn around. UMMM, yeah... not so much. I had a two hour layover in which I had planned on heading over to the USO to take advantage of their nice comfy arrangements, but you know, no one at the airport knew where the USO was. REALLY? How do you not know where it is if you work here? and YES, there IS a USO at the Atlanta air port.

So, fast forward to my layover being done and the boarding for my final flight begins. First, these seats are much larger than they were on the first plane, total awesomeness. The guy behind me is NOT kicking my seat, double awesomeness. I get on the flight and there is no where to store my CARRY ON luggage. WHHHAAAAAAAT??? Now what? So, they tell me I have to gate check my bag. My reaction? I have to do WHAT?! You want me to CHECK my bag? UGH! FINE!

My bag. It was oh so very carefully packed and measured last night so that I would not have to deal with baggage claim. If I had to check my bag, I could have brought a suit case with more stuff. WHO designs these planes anyway? and why were all the bins full? My guess? People probably were storing their personal items AND luggage in them. BASTARDS!!

I'm so excited to finally get to Maine. Once I see Taryn, everything will be all better. What she doesn't know is that she is taking me to get ice cream. I will not go to bed without ice cream! I WON'T I WON'T!

I miss my boys, tons! I keep seeing people traveling with their dogs and it makes me miss Major and Bubba terribly. I hope they are behaving for the dog sitter. If not, they are gonna get it when I get home. o.O

Well, I am off to surf the net from the sky now!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Heading to Maine, finally. I was really hoping that I would hear from my husband before I left this morning, just so I could tell him that I loved him on the phone, you know *just in case*. It's still kind of early, maybe he will call just in time. My flight doesn't leave until 11a anyway.

I am actually very proud of myself, I managed to fit all my things into one large rolly backpack, exactly the size of the carryon that the airline's website said they would allow. After this I am going to see if there is any possible way to fit my lap top on there as well. I was kind of hoping I would have time to finally sit down and enjoy my video game that I never seem to have time to play anymore.

I have to remember to go to the ATM before we leave base, not that anyone on my blog cares but if I write it down here, maybe I won't forget. I am not sure if they have Navy Fed ATMs in Maine, so I'd rather not take the chance.

So, for my "entertainment" bag, I am bringing a calculator, a dosage calculations tutorial (because I SUCK at math and need to practice), and I'd like to bring a book, but I can't decide which one. I'm not really a fan of re-reading books. Maybe I will bring my chicken soup book. I should have bought one to take with me, but I didn't think about it until now.

Well, I suppose I should get off the computer and start getting ready to head out. My ride is going to be here in about an hour, and then we can do the traffic dance all the way down to the air port.

DONE!

I did a whole lot of stressing out for NOTHING. Finals were easy breezy! I knew just about everything on the exams, minus a couple things I had to make educated guesses on, but I am pretty sure I did well.

WOO HOOO!!!

Semester one is a thing of the past.

Finals, etc

Today marks a huge milestone in my life. My last day of my first semester of Nursing school! I can't believe how much I've learned in just my first 16 weeks. It's crazy. My brain amazes me, well, all brains amaze me. Their ability to store tons of information, and at the same time make the rest of your body function without glitching or freezing. We truly are the most amazing computers ever made. (ok, enough being NERDY!)

So, my last two finals are today! I'm so excited. I stayed up until midnight studying. I hope that all the info stuck well enough to at least pass the exam. I have a 93% in the class where I am going to take my first final today, and the final is actually worth 150 points instead of the normal 100 points like the other exams. I can't fail the exam, or I won't get a passing grade in the class, so I am a little nervous because I need to at least pull of a C of sorts. *crossing fingers* that I can do this.

I told myself when school started that failure was not an option. I WILL become a nurse, an RN at that. No excuses. I am 29, this is my second degree I am earning here. I've already had a career, this is number two. I can't waste time. Time is money, ya know? and all those student loans are just waiting there to be paid off. Not to mention my husband was nice enough to pass me his GI Bill benefits, so I can't let him down. I get one shot at this for success and I WILL do it.

I can't wait for Jan 2012 when I graduate with my ADN, take the NCLEX and finally earn the title Registered Nurse!

But, for now, I am off to stress about my finals today and then get busy getting ready for my trip. MAINE HERE I COME!

Week 2, Day 2 obstacle course.

This could be one of those I'm not a Mom so I don't understand type things -or- it could just be that I'm not rude, and am more aware of my surroundings than the average person thing. My run today was quite interesting, it was the dodge mom with baby in stroller walk. It was probably the time of day I went, but it seemed like there were tons of people out taking babies for walks. I have no problem with sharing the side walk with babies in strollers, it's a public side walk, the more the merrier... or NOT. It was like I was playing chicken with EVERY person that had a stroller. How hard is it to move over just a bit, it's not like you hadn't seen me coming from wayyyy back there. You had time to scoot over, but no... why should they move? After all, you are oh so very much more important that me. So, instead of plowing down infants, I had to run on the grass or hop off the curb to avoid a collision. This is not fair. SCOOT OVER! There is plenty of room, it's not that difficult. Or is it?

So, other than that, my run went well. I was getting kind of tired toward the end there, but all the hopping up and down curbs kind of added an extra element to the work out. I just have one more run left in week 2, and I will be doing that this coming Friday in Portland, Maine. Then on to week 3. I am not sure if I should be afraid of what week 3 holds for me or not. I may start week 3 on Sunday, before I come back home from Maine. Hopefully every Mom in portland won't be out on the route I decide on. hahaha.

What exactly IS normal anyway?

Most days, actually most of the time, about 99.9% of the time I am pretty decent at pretending that my husband's absence is normal. A lot of military wives will tell you, after while, you just get used to him being gone. It's true, you get used to it. Having your husband gone is just part of life, it becomes normal. But, really? That is NOT normal. Having your husband gone for more than 50% of your marriage is not normal. I don't care how you look at it; upside down, sideways, right side up. It's not normal! Normal people get to come home every day to their families, normal people don't have to live in "cans", or eat at places called chow halls. They live in houses and eat dinner at the kitchen table. Sometimes, I want to be normal too.

Friday, May 7th, my husband turns 27. I've never spent a birthday with this man since I've met him. I don't even think he's been in the country since he's been maybe 19 or 20 to celebrate his birthday.

Tuesday, May 11, we will have been married for 3 years. We have never spent our anniversary together. That's not normal. People celebrate their anniversaries in the same restaurant usually, not time zones apart, wondering what the other is doing because they haven't spoken in several days. We saved the top layer of our wedding cake, thinking we'd eat it on our one year anniversary, and it's still in the freezer. I keep waiting until the day when he's actually home to share it. It probably tastes like freeze burn by now.

I'm really good at this deployment thing, I do well keeping myself busy and I have a great support system. It's just every once and a while, I have a moment where I miss my husband so terribly that it feels like I have a gaping hole in my chest. I want so much for him to just be here with me that it hurts. If only I could make time pass more quickly, or if I could skip a few months of life, it would be perfect. I bet he feels the same. I'm pretty sure he didn't really want to go this time.

So, my life isn't normal. Some people might even agree, but also say that it's extraordinary. I'm married to a wonderfully talented, bright, loyal and dedicated Marine. It's true, it's an honor to be the woman behind such a great man. But, it doesn't come without it's price. I really hate the fact that movies and TV shows romanticize this life. There is nothing glamorous about it. It's a prideful, and humbling life, but it is also lonely and heart breaking. It really takes a strong person to keep from going insane from such long separations. It really takes a special man to make a woman want to put up with all the time apart; time that is never to be returned to you.

I miss my husband tonight. No amount of combat pay, non-taxable income, discounted groceries or free health care even remotely make up for the time we have spent apart. I would gladly trade everything we have, every benefit, and every cent in our bank account just to have him home tonight, and every other night.

I love you babe, I miss you, and I can't wait for the next seven months to be over with.

Totally Blog Worthy

So, Buddy is my neighbor's dog. The neighbor that lives on the street behind me, he lives up the hill and one house to the right. Buddy decided he was going to escape this morning. He's a really sweet Golden Retriever, and all he wanted to do was come say hello to Major and Bubba through the gate, completely harmless EXCEPT my dogs would not come inside, and Buddy would not go back up the hill. All three dogs were just infatuated with one another. So, I decide to start yelling MAJOR, BUBBA, COME IN- SIDE! and it did not work. OH! Did I mention I am in a bath towel? LOL. So, I keep trying to yell at them and they aren't listening, and my neighbor starts giggling, and I hear her say "I'm so sorry, I'm laughing at you and they aren't listening" hahaha. That's totally OK with me because I am trying SO hard not to go into my yard naked in a bath towel. Finally I get Major in, but Bubba an Buddy just keep rubbing noses through the gate, so... I have to go out IN MY BATH TOWEL, and pick up Bubba, THEN major runs out through my legs. *sigh* This is getting to be ridiculous, really. So, I go inside grab a bag of treats and they both come running inside, effortlessly. Was it really that simple? I went outside naked with a towel on, for NO reason when I could have just grabbed a bag of treats from the cupboard.

ohhhh boy! As my neighbor said when we were trying to corral the dogs, "they are worse than kids."

Week 2 Day 1 & a Swarm of Bees

WOOO HOOO! I just got back from my run. I completed Week 2, Day 1 today. I have decided that I enjoy running outside. It seems to be easier on my knees, it's much cooler than running in the gym on the treadmill, plus I get the nice ocean views when I run outside. It's just beautiful.

About half way through my run, I ran into a swarm of bees. I didn't know what to do so I made a U-turn without thinking only to see more bees, and make another U-turn. So, now I am facing the same way I was to begin with and I keep running, because you know, I can't stop. I didn't get stung and I made it through without a scratch. oh boy, that was scary.

I did decide upon a new running buddy today, The Major. He's awesome. He ran right beside me the entire time, no pulling. I think he likes running too. He was getting lazy toward the end, and was running behind me so it was me that was doing the encouragement. HA! Lazy dog. I guess he needs to get in shape too. Oh boy, is he in for it. I guess he should have started with week 1 day 1 instead of jumping right into week 2. Now, he's passed out on the kitchen floor with his tongue out, nice, calm and quiet.

My husband is going to be so impressed with me, by the time he gets home hopefully I will be able to run a 10k. I will actually be able to run with him. I can't wait! I'm so excited that we will have something else to do together. :)

and off I go now, need to shower, and study. I have a final tomorrow. wish me luck... only 2 more days of semester 1 of Nursing school. 1 down, 5 to go. EXCITING! Before I know it I will be able to call myself Nurse. What an honor. :D

My Favorite

A home made Caprese salad:



I am having guests over this evening for dinner. I'm making chicken stuffed tortellini (by buitoni) with vodka sauce (made by Emeril). The Caprese salad will be the appetizer! YUM! I can't wait to eat.

and just for fun, I found a photo of the lovely valentine's day breakfast my hubby made. Eggs benedict a'la hubby. It's eggs benedict with bacon, tomato and avocado. He's so awesome, oh how I miss him so.

So, I have fantastic basal ganglia...

You see the title and you are thinking, "you have a WHAT?" Well, I have fantastic basal ganglia! You definitely read that correctly. I came across this facebook application, called "Bumpy Brains Compliment/Insult Generator". I just think it is the most hilarious thing. I probably sound like a total geek, it's probably because I am a nursing student and I happen to be interested in neurology, but it really is hilarious. Even my sister thought it was funny, and she's an English major. Anyway, check it out, let me know if I'm just ridiculous for finding amusement in it. HA! Well... maybe don't let me know if I am ridiculous. After all, I have fantastic basal ganglia, I just can't be ridiculous.

So, for the rest of my day, I have a floor to mop, some fantastical pasta to prepare, and some studying that needs to be done! The studying NEEDS to be done. I have a final on Monday, that I have kind of half-arsed studied for; I feel like I am not prepared as I should be at this point. I guess I will be cramming. Good thing I made flash cards. I think I will be sleeping with those from now until Monday, or at least until all the info sticks to my cerebrum anyway. :)

Have an outstanding weekend friends!